Today is the last day as a family of 3! I have so many thoughts and emotions going through my mind that I cant seem to grab hold of one and think to long on it. This pregnancy has gone by pretty fast and I cant believe we are meeting our new little guy tomorrow. WOW!!! I am excited to meet him and hold the little monkey that has squirmed inside my body all these months. But part of me isnt ready to say goodbye to my days with Cade. He is my first and I love him SO much!! I cant imagine loving another child as much I love him but I know (after all my friends have shared with me) that it will happen in a split second. I guess I am scared that Cade will be upset with me for having to share my time and that will break my heart. He and I usually are on the go at the park, having play dates and spending most of our time doing Cade things. But as I remember with Cade, having a newborn is a lot of time at home nursing the baby and sitting. Cade does not sit very well for to long. So that probably has something to due with my anxiety. I know I will have plenty of help and I am grateful for that. I guess the "unknown" is part of my fear too! I am sure all moms feel this way at one point and they get through it. I know I will too! But this is where I am today. I stayed up until midnight last night nesting like crazy. For those that know me know that I dont stay up late but I had so much on my mind that cleaning behind the couch, cleaning out the medicine cabinet and rearranging some furniture seemed like the proper thing to do.
Last week Matt and I did lots of fun things with Cade. I didnt want to miss out on Christmas fun so we saw the lights twice, went to Marion Square, got our tree up and decorated, went to Chuckie Cheese, went to James Island Park and had some play dates with friends. It has been a fun week and I have pictures that I will try and post eventually.
Today we went to Chuckie Cheese again with friends from our church and Cade had so much fun playing with his friends. Of course, we spent the majority of his tokens playing the basketball games. And he is pretty good at shooting the ball, ha! We are headed to my moms house tonight for dinner, I got to pick the menu and he will stay the night with them since we have to be at the hospital at 6:30. I am sure I will be up at 5 anyways. I am staying at my parents house until he goes to bed because I want to put him to bed and get some good cuddling. We have been having a hard time at nap and bed time this week. I dont know if Cade knows something is going on or changing but I dont have the heart to let him cry. So I have been rocking him to sleep and I must admit, I love the snuggles I am getting. He loves to have his back scratched and I do it until he is snoring. During these times I have been praying for his heart to adjust and love his brother. I guess we will see :)
I guess my other fear is about the delivery. I had such a great delivery with Cade! My epidural rocked and I didnt feel a thing. I hope this time I get a smooth labor process as well. Matt and my sister will be with me so they are ready for anything and are awesome at making me feel comfortable! Please keep us in your prayers for a safe delivery for Matthew and myself.
Sorry for all the random thoughts all over the place :)
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